Monsieur-Crasque

On Friday the 18th of September 2009, during a party at the boarding school that I went to I saw a guy at just past 7 in the evening, who changed my life. Changed, as in everything just shifted in my mind and I realised who I was, and who he would be to me. The roof of the darkening evening heavens rose up, the whispering in the trees seemingly sung another song. A song about us. And I was instantly smitten, transfigured, lost. Since then, my heart has only sung that very same song, but only the echo of it came back, or none at all. It has been more than six years of unrequited love, and still, he is etched into my being's innermos

You see me, and your gaze is my breath. How would I otherwise be alive? But you do not see the true importance of yourself in my world, the profound jolt of life that you bring me. Spring has not been here for several years. Germinal saw no seeds of hope planted in my heart, but the most intense Frimaire could not extinguish the yearning embers. The arbitrary, nebulous concept of time: minutes, hours, days, weeks – it only precipitates into units when you see me. Pathetic, is it not? I am Schrödinger’s cat in a box, no air holes, spring-loaded lid.